HEINESEN.info

Is #Metoo Just Nonsense and Rubbish?

By Elin Brimheim Heinesen

I don’t know what others think, but I nearly choked on my morning coffee when I heard a column on the radio this morning, supposed to be funny. The piece went to great lengths to mock and belittle the #metoo movement, making fun of the women who have put the hashtag #metoo on their profiles on social media.

The columnist alleged that most of these women, in sheer political correctness, are just blindly following a trend that is “nothing more than a chain letter,” calling it “pure nonsense!” They claimed all these women are just “hooting and hollering at each other about sexual harassment” merely because they don’t want to be left out of the “good company”. Seriously… “good company”? As if it’s something to brag about being a victim of sexual harassment!

The columnist tried to hide behind a shield of sarcasm, but the message boils down to an attack that crosses the line of decency in its derisive public shaming of the wrong people. I was genuinely puzzled by these extreme conclusions and deeply dismayed by how this sows doubt about the validity of the #metoo movement and the credibility of all who partake in it, suggesting that they shouldn’t be taken seriously.

Dubious Study Used as Evidence

To back up these claims, the commentator referred to a dubious study claiming that while 25% say they have been sexually harassed, only 5% have experienced “real” sexual harassment. But there was no mention of what study this was, its source, participant number, methodology, or criteria. I’m curious to know who conducted this study, where it was done, how many participated, how it was structured, and its purpose before I take such assertions seriously.

I have no doubt that the women (and men) who have chosen to add the #metoo tag to their profiles on social media have very valid reasons for doing so. The reason I don’t doubt this is precisely because these people are well aware of the prevailing attitude in today’s society; by taking this step, they risk being the target of scornful curiosity, accusations of lying, and mocking reactions like those of the columnist. Who wants to be in that crossfire? It’s not something one does lightly; it requires courage. You can’t convince me that someone willingly exposes themselves as a victim to the public unless they deem it absolutely necessary, such as to highlight a serious issue.

Do Not Dare to Break the Silence For Fear of Humiliation

Just read the Weekend Sosialurin (Faroese paper), where  this serious issue is discussed. The journalist points out how many of the women she interviewed who have used the #metoo hashtag, express how happy they are that people in the Faroe Islands have supported the initiative. This hopefully encourages more people to speak up, so the problem of sexual harassment can finally be made visible and addressed publicly. However, they still don’t dare to tell their own stories for fear of the consequences, as they are so affected by the traumatizing events they have experienced. They can’t handle the additional humiliation they risk facing by breaking the silence.

Despite the columnist this morning trying to pre-empt any criticism by saying that sexual harassment can, of course, be serious for those affected and should not be tolerated, the overall tone and public disdain for the #metoo movement, in my view, still amounts to a clear degrading of all those who have taken the campaign seriously and have chosen to come forward in this way to highlight a real problem. These thinly veiled and deeply offensive insinuations by the columnist that most people using the #metoo hashtag are outright lying are a typical and symptomatic example of how unwilling many (especially men) unfortunately are to acknowledge and take seriously those who wish to shine a light on the issue of sexual harassment.

Competing on Who is More Victimized by the Other gender

The column is a rather clear sign of the tendency of many (mostly men) to shut their eyes to the issue, belittle it, and say, “Well, it can’t be that bad” — or turn it back on the women, saying, “Oh my God, don’t be so sensitive” — or as some do, deflect by saying, “Well, men are also victims of sexual harassment,” as if that means there’s no reason to talk about men who harass women. As if it’s a competition between the genders about who is more victimized by the other!

It’s as if many men are completely blind to the problem of sexually aggressive behavior, which all statistics unfortunately show that people of their own gender commit the most, whether they want to acknowledge it or not. Most men seem to repress and outright deny this simple reality because they don’t see themselves doing it — and so the problem doesn’t exist, right?

Maybe they unconsciously reject that there is a problem it because deep down they admire the men who dare to cross women’s boundaries and dare to elevate themselves above women. Just look at the Hollywood action movies and video games any boy plays today, made by men for men, and see the idealization of violence, domination, and over-sized muscles that are celebrated there. Perhaps this violent, self-assertive, and dominant behavior, which others have to endure, has become such an integral part of the macho ideal that many men seem to have, that such behavior is almost considered “normal” and “natural,” and thus not something to “whine” about.

Necessary Measures that Can Open People’s Eyes

Why do so many men immediately get defensive when someone points out this problem? Why not join those who protest and actively distance themselves from such degrading behavior? Why do they find it so hard to acknowledge that we all have a problem with sexual harassment? Why immediately judge and belittle those who are part of the #metoo movement instead of seeing it as a welcome, real, and necessary initiative that can open people’s eyes to something seriously wrong that we need to address?

There’s a power imbalance here somehow. We can’t find a solution until the problem is identified. Why is it so hard just to listen to those who bring attention to unacceptable behavior this way and support them in breaking the silence, so they feel more confident speaking out about what they’ve experienced, so we can highlight just how extensive the problem is?

Instead, people (unfortunately, especially men) use their energy to make a joke of it, ridicule it, and deflect away from those who commit the harassment, turning against those who dare to protest this unacceptable behavior, making them double victims – first of sexual harassment and then of public mockery and humiliation. This treatment seems increasingly similar to what people of color and the LGBTQ+ community have endured in their long struggle for equality and against discrimination.

It Takes Courage to Show Solidarity

Rather than these desperate attempts to avoid and hide the uncomfortable truth, how about engaging in a much-needed discussion about where the boundaries should lie and what respectful behavior should look like – especially for those who hold the power in a relationship. Reducing the abuse of power, such as sexual harassment, would benefit everyone. Highlighting such issues has nothing to do with “political correctness.” On the contrary, I think it’s incredibly brave of all these women to speak out about what they will not tolerate. We should applaud those who dare to do so, rather than mock them.

What if men also dared to step forward – to take the women’s side against sexual harassment, to stand up to the peer pressure that forces them into a particular idea of what a “real man” is, and to face their fear of being labeled as mommy’s boys or effeminate men just because they stand with women? Why don’t more men dare to do that? Are they cowards?

Should Have Issued an Unconditional Apology

This morning’s column is a prime example of how big the problem really is—showing the tremendous challenges people face when trying to stand up for themselves against sexual harassment. The mocking tone towards these individuals does anything but encourage those who also might wish to break the silence, hoping this could help prevent unacceptable, abusive, and sexually harassing behavior in the future.

I truly believe that the columnist should issue an unconditional apology to those unfairly accused, whom he has trampled on with his unnecessary, unempathetic, and inexplicable mockery. And I’ll gladly take the blame if I’m accused of being “politically correct” because of this!

The message in this column—whether intentional or not—highlights why it is so crucial that as many people as possible, despite the risk of ridicule, continue to insist that the problem highlighted by the #metoo movement should be taken seriously. The troll’s name must be spoken aloud so it comes out of the shadows, rather than us continuing to gloss over, hush up, and pretend this unwanted troll doesn’t exist.

What do others think about the column that mocked the global #metoo initiative, written by Hilmar Jan Hansen and read by Elin á Rógvi on the radio programme Góðan Morgun Føroyar (Good Morning Faroe Islands) in Kringvarp Føroya (Faroese National Radio) on Thursday morning, October 26, 2017?
Listen to the column here: kvf.fo/gmf?sid=73615

If anyone is interested in more facts about the topic, here are some interesting links, including significant statistics showing how big the problem is: